13 August 2009

fog

It's so foggy that Sam has a splitting headache from trying to see where they're going for hours. And to make things worse, he doesn't know where they are, for all he knows the sun could burn out reveal they were only miles of some coastline or it could just be water all around them. Jeremi swore they were only going to stay far enough out to be in international waters, to go out much more would put them in the middle of the shipping lanes which has also got Sam so nervous he can't sleep, every night it's a nightmare about waking up to some giant ship crashing through their little sailboat because their lights are too weak to be seen. None of them are doing well, either, Jake is seasick and Jeremi just let slip that he has asthma and no medicine and Sam got himself sunburned so it's like some bad nineteenth century sailor's tale, everything is going wrong. Jake has gone from being too flirty with Jeremi to being right protective of him which maybe even worse to Sam. Once Jake gets that way it's damned impossible to change it.
Jeremi is coughing again and Sam can't feel much about it, what the fuck is wrong with me, he wonders, but worse is when Jake comes out to see Jeremi gasping away and Sam just standing there doing nothing, and now Jake is there, calming Jeremi until it goes away.
'It's the humidity,' says Jeremi, and thanks Jake, but Jake is looking at Sam with the look of a boy who just got all his Christmas presents stolen from him and tears are in his eyes and he comes up to Sam.
'What the fuck? Do you want us to ignore you if you have a diabetic reaction? Do you?'
And Sam feels just, shame, 'cos Jake is right, and he looks down and all he can do is apologize but Jake hisses, cutting him off.
'Don't apologize to me. Apologize to him. We all need each other now, all of us,' and then he's gone without even sticking around to see if Sam apologizes and he feels like puking atm 'cos he's being a real shit to Jeremi and he has to make himself do this, I mean fuck at least Jeremi through whatever fucked up chain of events got people scared enough to leave them alone for now, and he just says sorry.
And Jeremi shocks Sam with a big hug and tears and kisses him on the cheek and says he's not trying to come between them just he's well scared, not just cos his never been alone like this before or had to trust other people like this, he's a little scared of Jake, too, some, Jake who seems to swing between murderous rage and desperate loneliness, and Jeremi has a point there.
So Sam just says, hey, kiddo, let's get you out of the damp.
He brings him below decks, Jake is crying, Sam doesn't know why, Jake isn't in a real forgiving mood, he justs look at Sam and fuck he knows how to get back at him, how to really hurt him, dragging Jeremi into his bed.
He's undressing himself and Jeremi right in front of Sam, touching him gently, and Sam figures on some level he deserves this, and Jake is standing up and leans in close.
'I'm gonna have sex with him,' he whispers, 'and whether or not that ends up meaning anything is something you really got to think about, now.'
And for a minute Sam's just frozen in place, 'cos Jake is, not just sex but kissing Jeremi while his eyes are still fixed on Sam. Sam can't figure out how to react 'cos it's making feel like eight things at once, eight different things that he didn't think he could possibly feel at the same time, but he's not gonna give him the satisfaction, no, he goes up to the deck and finds a beer and smokes and lights one and then he just closes his eyes. He slides his hand down his jeans and starts massaging himself, gently, the fog wrapping him up tight and before he even is ready he cums all over the place, and curious, he tastes it, wonders what he tastes like, and decides he's not even gonna clean himself up cos he wonders what Jake will do when he comes out and sees what he's done. Jake's only caught him doing himself once and Sam knew on some level it hurt, as if Jake was scared he wasn't enough for Sam.

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