24 June 2009


There's a sudden flurry of activity around my bed.
Dad gets another shot, so he's gonna be out for a few hours again.
The activities to do with me.
Clothes are put on my bed, a Doctor arrives and signs off some papers.
Then a nurse says'
'OK, get dressed, the Doctor has said you are well enough to go home, your brother's in reception waiting for you'.
I dress, this feels too weird.
But no ones stopping me.
The nurse takes me down corridors and several floors in the lift, why was I in a psych ward and more important, why was my Dad.
Ground floor bell rings, I walk out the lift and there's Jake.
He stands and throws his arms open.
I run towards him, he catches me and I nearly knock him over.
His hands are all over me, my back, shoulders, hair.
I'm crying.
'hey come on Sam'
but I just can't stop.
He pulls me closer, bear hugs me.
'now come on, let's go'
I look into his eyes and as I do he turns me and pushes me forward.
We walk towards the exit.
There's a row of cabs, he takes the first in line, opens the door and I get in.
'I'm gonna tale care of you bro' he says
and I start to cry again and through my sobs I say
'I know, you will, you always do'.
Get home, he's already laid out food and we eat.
'It really is gonna be OK, Sam' he says.
'I know, I know' I say.
'can you stay'
he stops eating
'of course'
and with those words I feel a sudden strength, a sudden force to live, to try all over again, yeah, I'm gonna start over.

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