12 June 2009

Jacob 2009-06-12

I've come to and for once it in the past few days it doesn't mean pain. It doesn't, however, immediately make me feel better, because the NHS Doctor here is not one for subtlety or mincing words. He sees I'm awake, and he's just said something to Sam I didn't quite catch, now, noticing I'm awake there's someone stabbing me with a needle almost at once.
"Mr. Reilley, I only have one question for you," he says.
I start to say something to make myself a bit bigger in his eyes, but before I can, he says, "We've had to operate on Sam. He's going to need you here to be with him when he's well enough to be off sedation. But, for fuck's sake, man-"
Did the Doctor just say "for fuck's sake"???
"-you honestly are telling me none of his other Doctors told you?"
"Told me what?" I manage, wondering if I just hallucinated him saying that to me because of the drugs.
"His diabetes did not come out of nowhere."
He pauses, and all I can respond with is swallowing hard at what that means for me, for Sam, and then he says, "Get some rest. I think we can save your foot, the Major got you here in time despite the idiots who worked on you last."
And he's gone. I can just reach Sam, who is still conscious but avoiding eye contact, and with a bit of a struggle I manage to just take his hand which he doesn't pull away.
"I'm sorry, son, and I love you," is all I can think of to say.

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