10 July 2009


He had to hold Jake's hand while the doc stitched him up, after thirty minutes of arguing all Sam did was find the man's freezer and sure enough there was vodka in it so he gave Jake a big chug and another and another and he brushes his hair and tells the doc, "Okay."
And he holds his hand, it's been too soon for the vodka to really help a lot, and the doc pauses and sees Sam's eyes and knows a hospital is going to happen over his dead body and he sighs and drops some more vodka on the cut, and Sam is holding Jake's hand and his little brother practically breaks his fingers while the doctor starts to stitch it up.
And he tells Sam to leave Jake, let him get some rest, and the doc takes off his glasses and looks at Sam's eyes, and maybe thirty years or more separates them but he can tell Sam's mind is trying to get there fast so he asks him what he's going to do and Sam just starts to cry before he stops himself.
"Look, son," the man says, and Sam sees some sort of disappearance in his eyes when he says that last word, some loss.
"I should never have done this, I mean, y-"
"Do you believe in love, Doctor?"
And the man looks down and Sam knows he's holding back something, and all the doc says is, "I'm a man of science. Medicine."
There's a long pause there while the man stands and paces before he takes the vodka and pours them each a glass and he puts his hand on Sam's face, gentle-like, and Sam is thinking, uhmmm, okay, what does he expect.
"You look just like him," the Doc finally says, and Sam knows when to shut up. "He jumped on a ship headed for Mexico a year and a half ago last week, and I never heard from him again, then his mother died three months ago..."
Sam doesn't know what to say except sorry, but before he can get it out the man has a picture of a kid who looks just slightly older than Jake, and he's crying and grabs Sam's hand and Sam just jumps on instinct before giving him a hug, and now this man who should be so much more grown up than he is starts to cry like a baby, and tells them, he's not working at the hospital anymore, he lost that desire when she died and all he wants is to know Jackson is safe and maybe when Jake is well enough they could try and find him and tell him Dad loves him and if he wants come home...
And Sam just nods and lets him cry a bit, and the man mumbles something about 'whatever it takes' and he's gone, and he turns to Jake, who's stretched out on a few blankets on a wide table that turned into a stretcher for now, and he climbs up there with him, careful not to wake him, hoping Jake doesn't kick like usual cuz he's gonna wind up on the floor if so, and looks up, and it's a skylight overhead and he stares up there, all those stars, all those worlds, and wonders if they will belong in any of them.

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